Down the memory lane

Nostalgia

According to google.com this word means a sentimental longing or wistful affection for a period in the past.

Past

This word according to google.com means gone by in time or no longer existing!

Yet many of us still live in it.

Pretending that we are happy, pretending it doesn’t matter to us or what happened in that past time… but no matter what somewhere or the other we still live there.

Sometimes thinking about the wonderful things that it gave us or sometime the horrendous pain it offered. But yet again we do keep on thinking about these things or say memories.

Oh! see we got another thing which we use daily

MEMORIES!!

Got some flashbacks?

We do, all of us do get, some small happy or sad whatever it may be, but some or the other kind of flashbacks we do get.

But the question is do we ever react to those memories?

Some might say yes or some may say no, I would say no- a big fat NO!!! .

Is there any specific reason?

No.

Same thing again right!

 Now the question is where am I leading with this thing?

Then I would like to tell you, jut to somewhere, where we all have been… down the memory lane.

Let’s begin from the beginning, and seeing the not so pleasant environment around let’s talk about pleasant thing.

Let’s go a few days back, well in my days. Say two months or so back

I still remember it was 26^th of February and I was due to meet my best friend whom I was going to see off as she was going to Philippines for her further studies.

Now the 'Logical Me' was that I was very happy. But you know the one who would always be reckless, would tell you to be human, especially the one and only thing that makes you human and that was the 'Emotional Me' was sad.

I just wanted to go and tell her not to go, I still wish sometimes that she would get bored of the things out there and would come back to me, To be with me in the same college at least, if not the class. To talk with me on cell phones for hours and hours and then tease me with numerous guys out there.

But then I think of the time when she would be back with her degree, working in a reputed hospital may be as the senior most doctor, and giving me and my family free treatment… it just makes me smile wide. Again going back on what I thought and praying that she would do fine both academically as well as physically.

Now let me tell you when we had met first.

It was in our school. I was in sixth standard and the most idiotic thing which I had asked her the very moment I had met her was “will you be my best friend?”

The day when I had met her, we had talked about it she had said “yeah even I had thought how stupid is this girl, it’s the first time we are talking and she is asking me to be her best friends?”

But then these stupid things to which we accompany people is what makes those people and us BEST FRIENDS

But look at the irony; she wasn’t my first best friend. I had one earlier.

Our families were/ are great friends. We would practically do everything together, we would match our clothes, have food together, we had our special poem “sushila” and “Sandhya kali” some Marathi rhymes, these were the things which made people realize that we were best friends.

But the thing is we grew up and our friendship became what we people call 'MEMORIES'.

And today the only time we would talk is when we have to wish happy birthday to each other or share the links of our vlog or blog.

Isn’t it really weird. The people who were once a great companion are now so apart that we don’t even have time for a small hii or hello?

No right?

It’s always us who do every single thing. We make friendship with people. We are the ones to bring new people in our life and its us only who make ourselves so busy in that stupid work.

No its not only for the people who have jobs from 9 to 5 or the college going kids who have classes from 8 to 6. Its for every single person out there who once had friends.

Now some would say it is soo embarrassing to talk after such a long time?

Oh really ?

Please come again?

Are we really talking about, talking to that person who other than your family has seen your ‘I just woke up look’  or ‘yeah I really eat like I have come from a drought’ or with whom we had climbed the numerous trees and collect mangoes from them . And mind you we didn’t own the said trees.

If once upon a time we weren’t  shameless to tell them how our first crush dumped us or how our parents had kicked our lovely asses just because we got a C in our report card, then have we really grown up this much that we can't call that person and tell them-

‘Dude you were the only person who had a power to make my day as well as lead me to the Satan's home.’

It is difficult right?

It’s soo difficult to pick up our fancy cellphones and dial the number.

But then again we would have that excuse ‘I don’t have the number’

Then why do you use the social media?

From the time we are born, no I would say from the very beginning when we are not even born it is said that things are destined. Our parents are destined to be together, we are destined to be born to them and become part of that wonderful family.

All relations, our parents, grandparents, uncle aunt, brother and sister etc etc. all are destined to be our relatives. Our birth in a particular family decides whom we will be related in what relation.

But in all these things there is one relation in which none of us is bind to perform or respect nor is it destined, it is us who decide if we want it or not, if we are really worth it or not and the way that relationship begins is way different from the blood or the ones which have started with the consent of our parents and elders.

It’s the first relation which we decide and form on our own, from the scratch; some find it at the playschool some at the gardens or some at the elderly age of 80 while going for their regular checkups, but we do find them and these people are the ones who would understand us just the way our moms do or may be sometimes even more than them.

And that is friendship.

But .

There is always a 'BUT', and I am sure when you all were reading the above para you felt as if you know someone like them, some name came on that lips of yours, some beautiful memories did came, and when the 'BUT' came, as well came the memories of the last day that you might have met.

The day when you had bid an unknown final bye to that first friend, even you didn’t know that it would have been the last time yet it was.

How often you might be seeing at your kids or the kids going to school with their hands round each other’s shoulders and talking and eating the raw mangoes or talking about the said chemistry or math teacher whom they have given that unique names, and those memories of you once being there would have been resurfaced to your mind, a smile would have come up on your face and all that tiredness which you were feeling a minute ago would have walked away.

There would have been this excitement to do that, to call that chemistry teacher names along with your friends, to climb the same mango trees and get the raw fruits and run away not wanting to be caught by the owner, and yet again the slight musky and muddy smell of our classrooms after the long summer vacations which at one time was so irritating and now yet again all you want is to smell the same.

These all things are there, they make you smile, and it’s a time that has went away, something what people would call past, and yet we are still out there in it.

Days keep on going, we all keep on aging yet somewhere that small child is still there, yet that 13 year guy who had seen the most beautiful girl walking down the corridors of the school still stayed there somewhere in the corner of your heart,  yet still laid there that 6 year old boy who would have answered to every sharma uncle that I want to be an engineer yet is something which he actually wanted.

But what about that friend who had walked ahead to that person sitting on a bench, with his heart beating so loudly, mustering his courage to only ask one simple question-

“will you be my friend?”

He is as well there, but the fact is every single memory and every single thing is acknowledged but that person who is again and again calling out for you to acknowledge him.

Asking you to muster up some more courage and find out that first friend of yours who told you what actually friendship is. What actually it feels to share your lunch-box with someone.

We all know that time is one of the most precious thing, it doesn’t wait for anyone, there isn’t any perfect timing, if you feel that there is something left that you should have told to someone then go ahead do it, may be go ahead call that person, and as well acknowledge that every person down there in your heart whom you have buried as the hours needle in the clock ticked by.

Many times people say give some time to your family, I would say give time to yourself and your friends. Because somewhere what all we do is for our family we do have those small family gatherings, weddings, birthdays, picnics etc for that family.

But what about those, who were there with us more than our family, did at one time?

Once school is over the school friends end up in the photographs, once the college is over the college friends end up in our college albums, but when we take over our family they always end up in reminders, priorities, and many more things.

We have heard many times that school and college days are said to be best, why?

Because in those days we don’t add up the things related to them in reminders or priorities, we add them up to our heart to our interest, if we do a particular thing willingly from our heart it would be the best

And again who would make us realize that – our friends.

Then why to really led them to those albums and memories why not acknowledge them?

Just think about it, after your summer vacations when you used to go to school how cheerfully you all used to greet that friend, what a big smile used to come on your  face just seeing them – and that to only after a leave of 60 days.

Now imagine for some it would have been years, decades or as well days.

But if you would send a small hii and if the reply would be “ohh hiii how are you its been such a long time yaar I missed you soo much!!”

Got that warm feeling right?

If reading from here is giving you this then think what would it really do when you would receive it from that old and good friend of yours.

Family is something which people and doctors as well call blood related people who are destined to be yours by the god.

But a friend is the one whom you choose from the possibility of 99% of you not being his or her friend.

Miracles happen on the verge on 1% and you choosing a friend for the possibility of 99% that you won’t be that persons friend , that 1 % is a miracle which you create by choosing that person to be your friend.

If you are the miracle creator don’t let that miracle just wipe away because of the mere distance from where you two live or because of some misunderstanding or the most dangerous thing called ego.

Do another miracle, acknowledge that young boy who had mustered some courage to ask that question and once again you muster a bit of courage and ask him again whether he would like to be your friend again.

There is whole lot of chances that you would receive a positive response.

As good friends are quite a few to get and childhood friends are the best you could ever get.  

P.s I miss you a lot Siddhi, Adhiti and Saakshi and love you all too, thanks a lot for being there in my life as my friends.



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The DOSAGE!!

Did the title got you confused?

Dosage… what could it really be about? Malaria, typhoid or tuberculosis or common flew?

Well let me make it a bit riveting.

“when I went in 10 standard along with the strict warning to get good marks my mom started to give some doses as well” my friend said with a small smile forming on her lips, thinking about the time which was quite filmy yet the memories were sound in her heart.

Ohh no, this isn’t from any story or comic or whatever you might have thought. It’s a statement which had got me and my 5 friends into a state of disorientation normally called as CONFUSSION.

Though she kept on talking yet the word ‘doses’ had our attention to it unmarred enough … and I am sure so is yours.

When we had finally decided to stop her and ask what kind of doses are you implying, I mean some memory booster or something.

She had cachinnated and waved a hand at us and in a quite lackadaisical accent said “ohh no, doses as in you know… we belong to this community and expect you to get married to a guy who belongs to the same community, you need to do things very well now or else your mother in law would laugh at us and blah and blah.”

That evening the discussion which was going on earlier had come to an end and some new facts had started to come up.

“You were told about it when you were in 10?” one of my guy friends had asked. The looks which they had given us was quite hilarious.

“Yeah, what about you?” she asked me and others.

What about me. The answer which I had given gave them another shock.

“I was told about these things when I was In 8 standard, and it’s quite normal every girl goes through this training.” I had added with a shrug.

Training that’s what I had loved to call it!

“Why? aren’t you guys told about it?” my friend asked. The boys looked at each other and then the one who was eldest amongst us answered.

“Yeah I was told about it once my family decided to see alliances for me that was when I was 25 or 26 years old what about you people?” he asked the other guys.

The answer was very different from what you would except from a girl. The group of people with whom I was having this conversation was from 18 to 30 and 5 of them were from 20 to 30 whereas I was 18 years old.

It was quite fascinating that the boys though were of 20 to 25 yet two of them weren’t given any erudition about it as yet. The other two were known about these facts as their families had started to look for matrimonies.

How trenchant it was in that room us seven people who were from today’s contemporaries not much difference in age yet we two girls had a different nurture from that of the boys.

Was it that the boys were from some different world or contra distinct section of society or even a colorful community? The answer was No, we all were from same community, same world as well same class of the society yet the teaching that we were given was otherwise.

I don’t blame any male population here, because all those whom I had known till now- I was great to know them. Even those 5 guys with whom I was having a serious powwow were a gift to us. When we had asked them what they think about it? The answer which they gave made me and my friend august to know them.

“it’s not one person whom we could blame about, it’s the thinking… I don’t fathom why aren’t we told about these things at the very same elderliness as that of girl… and then people say that a girl is full-blown than that of a boy has anyone thought of it why?”

Really has anyone of us contemplated about it why?

Is it because of that Y chromosome that differentiate their sex, but then if it is so then males as well have a X chromosome that matureness somewhere has to be there if we think from the hormonal point of view.

I am no doctor or a saint who could really tell whether these things really depend on the hormonal issue or not, but then if no then what could really be the cause.

My friend had said that he postulates that if I was informed of these things well before I was then maybe I would have been a better person then I am.

When a girl is born in a family somewhere even though that family is happy they have this worry of how to bring her up. She is always taught to do this to do that, sit in this manner, wear these types of clothes, talk in this manner and some got to such an extent that even today they are as well taught how to walk in front of people.

Just think of it, if a boy would have for once at the time of girlhood told that you will respect each and every lady in this world as you respect your sister. You can express your true feeling in front of us my child there isn’t written anywhere that a man is a man when he learns how to ignore his feelings rather than acknowledging them.

The girl who would be marrying you and coming to this house is not the daughter in law of this house rather she will be m child and I accept you to respect her and her thoughts and wishes.

Imagine how it would be if a boy would be given all those lectures about what will your wife and mother in law think for the tactics you do. Imagine how a relationship or that budding teenager would be if he would be given the same talk which makes a girl more mature than he is.

We girls are asked to be calm, composed to think upon the matters and then give our reactions rather than acting out in anger or frustration where as if a boy does such a thing the most common thing said by these gossip aunties is “are garam khun hai, bhadke ga hi”

So funny if it’s a boy then “garam khun” if it’s a girl “think and then act” then it doesn’t matter if you like what is happening around you or not.

It might be that many people would have not gone through these things their parents would have not led them through such teaching or such situations, but then if looked around and discussed isn’t it a very few of them?

When my cousin sister had got married and we had come back home I had heard my and aunt say “such a weird thing it is, we bring up that bundle of joy with so much of love and care, and once she grows up this person comes… a pundit says some mantras and with a few drops of water she is given of to someone else saying “kanyadaan” and is married off to that person.”

Somewhere we believed that guy was good for my sister, but today when we see her flourishing in her carrier, her extracurricular activities and home and all she says is “it’s my husband to whom all the credit goes to.” We are proud of her choice, maybe we could have never found a better person then he is.

Till now I had always read this in the novels which I read, and to know that it can really happen in real at least with one person then why not the others?

If one husband can support his wife and her thoughts; then why not other husbands do the same?

When we are accepting some changes around us why not accept one more – why not bring up our lads in the same way as we bring up our princess. Why not make both the partners a bit mature rather than just the one.

It is always said “a lot of pressure at one side always destroys that side, its better to keep a balance between the two”

May be by introducing our sons to the world of reality at a blooming age the story would be different. maybe would help them to maintain the balance as always it’s better to be prepared rather than finding out the ways to overcome the problem once it occur.

Remember a girl and a boy when are born are born in the same manner, they eat the same food, the parents who brings them up is the same, the world in which they stay is as well same it’s never them it’s always us.

How we welcome them in this world, how we make them eat their food, how the parents see them as a girl, a boy or a child while giving them the values, how the world looks at them and how they themselves are thought by their surroundings. As a child always learn from what he sees if vilonce is what he sees than that is what he learns, if love is what he sees than love is what he learns and equality and understanding is what we see than that is what he learns.

How about a question for every person who are reading this, think over it would your life had been different if your parents and this world would have treated you the same way that your sister/brother, mother/father or even your life partner is … answer truth fully and not to me or anyone else only to that inner self who is always with you, for once accept what your heart says, and if it is a yes then please act upon it rather than ignoring that voice within you once again.

Hello everyone,

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The feeling ... AWKWARD?

Running through the Andheri crowd,I finally reached the place where I wanted to be- at platform No.-4 of Andheri station, waiting for the only Virar train for that hour; where "supposedly" the ladies compartment was going to come for a 15 coach train.

After a wait for hardly half a minute, the train arrived and I, along with many other irritated passenger of that Thursday afternoon- though in month of January,got into that train. after a panic war for a seat between most of the ladies. when everyone got settled that's when we all realized that there were men as well in the compartment.
some women being brave and ones who would fight for a women's right spoke up loudly "Are what are you all doing here? its a ladies compartment get down from the train at the next station or else-"

"or else what?...you cant do anything sister, its a gents compartment and due to some misunderstanding we ladies had got into the train . now let them as well sit here, we cant do anything." said other lady passenger who was traveling from Dadar from where the train had proceeded.

without anything to say about the- oh so brave lady sat down and began to munch upon her vada pav, leaving the very few male species in that compartment into one of the most weird condition.

one could easily say by looking at their faces that they had got familiar with what people called- Awkwardness.

I took out my chips packet to eat and simultaneously my new novel "few things left unsaid " to let the time pass. soon we had reached Borivali and then the game began. Two college going guys were about to get into the compartment and when they saw us - ladies sitting in the compartment they backed off. were they feeling weird? ...yes. were they feeling Awkward? ....yes. were they feeling their rights were violated ? ...yes.

But what an irony was it, that - that day though it was a gents compartment and we knew that some way or the other we were at fault and because of our mistake some people had to let the train go, we had let the every person coming inside the compartment know that it is a gents compartment and please come in. helping out those who might had never helped anyone like us in any situation.

I let out a sarcastic laugh when one of the guys said "yaar yeh kitna ajeeb hai yaar...sari aurtee kitni ghur ghur ke dekh rahi hai."

if just for a minute we ladies had looked at them, some with motherly feelings, some as sisterly and some friendly...then these guys thought that it was Awkward ..."ajeeb" then what about us ladies, who are mostly looked as if we are a piece of meat to be eaten. there is no such fatherly , brotherly or friendly looks or stare that we get, if we wear our school uniform or got out, there is no such feeling when we wear an punjabi suit and go out, there is no such feeling... when we wear a western dress and go out and nor is it when we wear a saree and go out.

that day these guys, felt the journey to be the  most difficult even if they had traveled for about half an hour in the train compartment filled with ladies, but then what about us when we travel or walk around with the most disgusting looks and feelings around us for a whole dam day for 365 day a year...31 days a month 7 days a week and 24 hours a day.

we girls are supposed to wear sensible dress... that's what most of the people say, but i would like to ask the same people what are sensible dresses? those punjabi dresses in which your raja beta's keep looking at us like a hawk ? or those sarees in which they decide the size of our waist.

I don't say that western dresses are way better that the Indians, in fact I myself feel they are way too comfortable, and that's what matter, rather than dressing up in a sensible dress whose meaning none of us know, why not dress up into those in which we are comfortable?

when at last the Nallasopara had come and we had to get down the ladies were the ones who were standing ahead, with the few number of gents standing behind us with there head hung low, what was that , that they were feeling, may me the same thing which we feel when a 80 year old grandpa who sits at the pan shop at the corner of our locality, looks at all the girls irrespective of there dresses, their way of looking .

for most of men's in India, when a girl becomes their submissive, its kind of a certificate that they are men, but I would say the day when a girl would walk around without that feeling called "Awkward" would be the certificate  for them to be called as men.


hello everyone ...this is Yadni back with another update hope you all like it ...please please please comment your views about what you think regarding this story that i have shared today as it is very important of what other people think about this matter as well.

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